you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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