you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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