omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize