If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
