if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This baby is an asshole
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize