we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
