Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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