And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
