I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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