yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Text me some of your sweat
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
