Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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