I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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