There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
