My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
