conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Let's get the cat blown out
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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