ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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