Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
