Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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