Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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