i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
