Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
