Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
