dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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