its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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