I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
