and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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