NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My dick has a subreddit
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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