Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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