Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
