Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
