I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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