Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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