people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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