I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
