So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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