if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hate all girls vehemently.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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