i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
