I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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