tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
