Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
