The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
