i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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