Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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