Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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