We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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