There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Less talking, more tequila
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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