I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
