Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize