Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
