vagina is talking i cant
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
