Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
