I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
