$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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