i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
