OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize