I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
