Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
