My cat gives me a boner
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's blow job season.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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