If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I need to sanitize my soul.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Come on in and take your pants off
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