I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
handjob tips. give me some.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
