Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
