STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Congratulations! We have a period
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