Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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