How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
