So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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